


Karkat: Make mistakes

by grimalkinInferno



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Headcanon, Meteor, Meteorstuck, POV Dave Strider, POV Karkat Vantas, Sadstuck, Sleep Deprivation, davekat - Freeform, hahahah see i lied at first because i found out about the stuff that happened and i have plans now, post-retcanon, the titles of the chapters indicate whos pov it is
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-05
Updated: 2015-07-12
Packaged: 2018-03-16 10:12:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 3,935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3484385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grimalkinInferno/pseuds/grimalkinInferno
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Karkat goes missing for some reason, and Dave intends to find out why. Things get a little out of hand though.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Dave

You are Dave Strider and you have not seen Karkat Vantas in one week.

It doesn't bother you too much at first. He's still on the meteor, after all; he's fine. He was always a bit reclusive anyway, finding some hideaway to stay in for the majority of his time in this hell-hole. (Well, hell-rock) But he always came out at some point, baggy-eyed and grumbly, getting some coffee or a book or perchance starting a pointless argument that always ended with him hiding away again.

But no one has seen him at all for a total of seven days.

You've wondered vaguely from time to time where he is or how he managed to stay out of sight. Maybe he's purposefully avoiding everyone, or he just got lost. Even if he did get lost, there's only so much meteor to get lost in.

It's just a bit, well. Unnerving. Not seeing him around with no prior warning or explanation. Rightfully so, you suppose; who wouldn't wonder where he got off to?

On the fifth day, you bring it up with Rose casually while the both of you are sitting at that long table that's become something of a socialising center.

"Haven't seen Karkat in a few days," you deadpan as usual, succeeding in being casual.

"Mhm," she mumbles, not looking up from the hat she's knitting. She's been knitting a lot lately. You suppose it helps pass the time.

"Wonder why," you say, trying to get a proper response.

Needless to say, it works. "He's probably just not been where we have lately. Or he's marathoning a troll romantic comedy. Have you read any of them, by the way? They look very interesting."

"'Course I have. I just love reading about alien love triangles. And alien porn in general," you retort, satisfied with her answer for the moment, continuing with the banter between you two which you're sure someone else would love to hear the rest of.

On the seventh day, you wander around the meteor aimlessly for awhile. You're totally not looking for him. Okay you're looking for him. This is just getting a little weird.

In any case, you find neither hide nor hair of the nubby-horned troll. In fact, you don't see anyone except Kanaya. You don't really see her, per say, more like a faint glow coming from around the corner that you avoid. Interacting with Kanaya is just a weird and generally unsatisfying experience to you. Not that you don't like her, she's just.

Weird.

She doesn't seem to notice you, just continues walking through the hall to what you can only assume is her room, bioluminescence lighting up her way and getting fainter and fainter. No one ever really explained that one to you.

Two days after that, you look for him again. You're not worried about him. Of course not. You just think that if someone who's usually really apparent and loud disappears for awhile, someone ought to look for him, that's all. But still, you don't see him. Well, you think you might have at one point. You hear someone shuffling along through the corridors, and go in that direction. You're not being particularly stealthy, though, and whoever it is gasps a little and runs off at hearing your footsteps.

After ten days, it seems for all of paradox space that Karkat Vantas has either vanished into thin air or jumped straight off this meteor. No one has really bothered to acknowledge it outright, but you're sure by now at least some people have noticed. You occasionally see Kanaya turn expectedly towards a transportalizer, only to return to whatever she was doing a few seconds later. You find yourself doing the same every so often.

But of course, this doesn't worry you at all. You're sure it's fine. He's probably fine. There is definitely nothing that could have gone wrong. How could it?


	2. Karkat

You are Karkat Vantas and you are a huge fucking idiot.

You didn't sleep during your two-week-long SGRUB session. There was too much to do, too many idiots to corral, and adrenaline kept you awake for the most part, and sheer willpower for the other parts.

But you find it difficult to sleep afterwards as well. There are no monsters to fight, no quests to do, only corridors to wander. You have a recuperacoon and sopor and everything, but what sleep you get is in short bursts and frequently interrupted by nightmares. The trouble sleeping has been a problem since when you were little, but it was always milder than this. A few hours lost here, maybe a sleepless day there, but it was always enough.

This is different.You don't feel tired. Or rather, your mind doesn't. You can feel your body getting more and more deprived of the energy it needs, you notice how you don't seem to have appetite enough for full meals. But you can't sleep.

You don't tell anyone; this is just a small, easily solved problem, right? Well, it's not exactly something someone can help you with. You can't really ask for someone to cuddle you into submission.

You know it's a problem, but you don't really try to get any sleep anyway. You give in. You stay awake at all times, ignoring your body's calls for some real sleep, because you can't deliver. At this point, it doesn't really even matter. It's not like you guys are going to end up anywhere anytime soon, so why bother?

After awhile, you start avoiding people. You might see Rose or Terezi and just... go the other way. The longer it goes on, the more carefully you avoid people, being quiet when you hear someone near, sometimes not leaving a room for a whole day.

You just don't want to talk to anyone. You don't want to see Terezi or Kanaya and talk about everything that's happened recently, you don't want to talk to Gamzee because talking to him lately is like being in a horror movie at points, you don't want to talk to Vriska because who the fuck wants to talk to Vriska, and you don't want to talk to the humans because you're tired of them trying to be whatever the human equivalent of a friend is and failing miserably. Besides, it's not like you deserve one right now. Or ever did. It was stupid of you to try and be a leader, stupid of you to leave everything to everyone else, stupid of you to seal everyone's fate with your ignorance and laziness. Everything you did was indisputably, unsurpassably idiotic, so much so that you want to tear yourself apart for letting everyone die just because you were too scared to do anything.

So you don't talk to or see anyone. You wander around quietly, making sure that wherever you go is uninhabited. You don't see anyone, and no one sees you, and you're okay with that. Besides, you'd much prefer total isolation to someone having to interact with you in general. You know how that ends.

As the time grows longer, you can feel your mind getting hazier as well. It takes you longer to think things through, and you lose any sense of time. All you know is avoid interaction with people, and don't sleep.

After about a week (has it been a week? Two weeks? A sweep? You can't tell anymore) you notice Dave looking for you. Or at least something. And at least probably Dave. He definitely wears mostly red, yeah, that's Dave. In any case, he wanders around much in the same manner you do, peering around corners to see if someone's there, turning left here or right there. That's about as much as you can gather from the few times you see him before you manage to sneak away. Avoiding conversation doesn't seem to be a concept he's familiar with.

You really wish he wouldn't. Your relationship with both of the humans is weird as it is, it doesn't need extra complicating with what seems to be genuine worry and care. It isn't something you need or want, and Dave should just take the hint and leave you be.

Some time later (days? Hours?), you make a mistake.

Well, it's not really your mistake. You just weren't paying attention.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whats this? a cliffhanger? sorry whoops


	3. Karkat

You're shuffling along another dark corridor, deep in your own thoughts. It's harder to discern any of them, so you have to concentrate to make sure you can understand your own thought patterns. It's stupid, and even more stupid because you're thinking about the same thing you've been thinking about for the past however-the-fuck-long, which is how badly you fucked everything up. You're starting to forget what specifically went wrong, all you know is that everything is terrible and it's all because of you and you need to suck it the fuck up.

So it doesn't really need to be said that the curious call of your name from a few feet away doesn't register. Neither does the patter of feet struggling to remain casual and unhurried. You only notice someone's even near you when he stops you in your tracks by putting his hand on your shoulder and scaring you half to death.

"Fucking shit-maggots-!" you outburst, recoiling wildly and snapping to pay attention to the shaded guy in front of you. Your eyes retain their initial wideness from your surprise as you realise it's the same Dave who's been following you and looking for you and oh shit.

"Karkat, hey, I saw you at the end of the hall. Didn't you hear me say your name, or have you gone deaf from your own yelling?" he says, poking a bit of fun but obviously still concerned.

"Funny you should ask. No, I didn't. Don't scare me to my fucking grave next time you want my attention," you retort wearily. Can't he just leave you alone?

"Which seems to be something absolutely no one can hold for more than two seconds. Where have you been for the past two weeks? No one's seen you at all, you're becoming about as scarce as Gamzee, and not even Kanaya can catch that guy. Which is probably good? I dunno, more killing would probably be really bad. What'd he even do? No one tells me jack shit about what went down. Maybe it's better I don't know but I still really wanna know."

The brunt of his rhetoric, however, is lost to you. You can't seem to focus on anything at the moment, and it's getting annoying. You do hear the part about you being missing for two weeks, which for some reason doesn't surprise you. You're not sure why. You're also not sure why not.

You're awakened (slightly) from your trance when Dave is snapping his fingers in front of you. "Dude, are you paying attention or what? Don't fall asleep standing up or whatever man." That's strange. He seems much farther away than he is when he says that. Could it be Time powers? Only explanation.

You hear yourself reply, "Yeah, good idea." Of course, you don't mean it. What's the issue with that anyway? It's not like the ground's made of spikes or something, it'd be fine...

"What? I'm not disagreeing with you or anything, but you're not making any sense. ... What're you looking at?"

Huh? You were looking at Dave, right? Upon more thorough examination, you come to the conclusion that you were not, in fact, looking at him, but behind him. You glance back at his stupid face being covered by stupid sunglasses that's somehow stupidly staying upright while the floor does acrobatic fucking maneuvers underneath your feet. Stupid Dave.

You remember he asked you a question. "Oh, nothing..." Human Gog, why is it so hard for him to realize you want him gone so you can just be alone?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so yah I know it was a weird way tO split a chapter but like..... yah I have no excuse. kill me


	4. Dave

You are Dave Strider and you're kinda worried right now.

Karkat looks as if he's about to pass the fuck out or something, and you can tell it's been a really long time since he last got some goddamn shuteye. You think you heard somewhere that it's possible to die from sleep deprivation, or at least pass out, and Karkat doesn't exactly seem to be the pinnacle of health and coherence right now.

It's probably not the best idea to just leave him like this, but you're not really sure what to do. You kind of want to ask him to get some sleep or something, but he'd probably just try to deny your efforts to help him. He's a thick-skinned kind of guy, and... you really just don't want to argue with him.

"Okaaaay, well, just thought I'd make sure you're not dead or anything. You look pretty close to me, but hey, I'm sure it's fine," you say, not sure if you're being sarcastic or just trying to make things not awkward. Which they totally aren't.

"Yeah..." he says at length, not really paying attention to what you're saying. He rubs his eyes with one hand, like he's trying to clear them but just can't seem to do it.

Then, once again after a pause, and in a somewhat far-away voice; "You feel that...?" He leans on the wall as if to steady himself.

"Uh... no?" You look around, confused. Feel what? The air? It's a little bit cold, but not quite enough to be uncomfortable.

"This whole fuckin' meteor... just spun like a top or somethin'..." Haha, okay that's probably very not good at all.

You say as much, but once again, he's not fucking listening to you. Mostly because he's too busy letting his legs turn to jelly and collapsing on the floor in front of you in a small grey-and-black heap. You do not call his name in a frightened voice. You also do not immediately kneel down by him and wonder why the fuck this just happened, and why it happened to you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hooray getting into the good part!  
> also if you could leave some feedback thatd be like awesome so yeah


	5. Karkat

You are Karkat Vantas and you can see Nepeta Leijon sobbing over her moirail's dead body.

You are standing at a distance. You can see her back, her blue tail peeking out from underneath her coat, shoulders shaking, looking down at a large, bloody, dead troll you recognize as Equius Zahhak, and you step towards her.

You put a hand on her shoulder.

She freezes.

"Nepeta..." you start. "I am s-"

"Why?"

You're taken aback. Why, what? It's not a very specific question, and you're sure she knows that.

So you stay silent, waiting for her to finish. An uncomfortable silence laden with sorrow and possibly hostility follows before she seems to understand that you're not going to say anything. "Why didn't you kill him yourself? Too leaderly, too scared, to do what was your responsibility anyway?" She faces you now, green tears streaking her cheeks and venom in her eyes, allowing it all to drip into her voice to let you know just how she feels. "Why did he have to be the one to do it?"

You stand there like she just punched you in the gut, mouth agape. You start to stutter something out, "I-I didn't mean for- for anyo-"

"WHY DIDN'T YOU DO SOMETHING?!" She's not alone in her rage anymore. You hear two more voices join her, and with a sinking heart and guilty conscience, you turn to face them Feferi Peixes is looking at you too. So is Eridan Ampora. Their eyes are white, their clothes covered in their respective blood, leaching from where they were struck to their dooms.

It's Feferi who speaks next. "I saw you standing there, Karkat. I looked at you, you looked at me, and you just stood there like a piece of shit with your mouth open and WATCHED."

You're startled once again by the sheer pain and ice being aimed at you as she stares daggers straight into you with sightless eyes. "I thought you had it under control, okay?! Be- besides, Eridan would've killed me too!"

"And how do you know that?" Eridan is speaking for himself now. "How do you know you wouldn't be just fine? How do you know you couldn't have stopped me from doing all of these things I regret now?!"

Suddenly he's stomping straight at you until you are both face-to-face, pointing an accusing finger into your chest. "You could have jumped in. You could have saved Feferi from having to try to kill me. If you decided to step up and fucking take responsibility for your team, we would both have clean hands!"

The others have gotten closer too now, effectively surrounding you. Words are shouted at you in every direction from every source, harsh, grating ones. "Asshole!" "Scumbag!" "Lousy, stupid, shithead!" "You're no leader!" "Fraud!" "You never did anything!" "Pitiful!" "Weak!" "Mutant!" "Mutant!" "Mutant!"

You're being pushed, tugged, spun, slapped, punched, scratched. With each drop of blood that spills from you, each bright fucking red drop, their shrieks grow louder, blaming you, blaming you, blaming you.

And the worst part is that you know they're right.

You're pushed down, there's liquid. It's red. It's like you. It stares at you and knows you, and it wraps around you until you're submerged in your own filthy, bright color, red. You know nothing but red. The color, the feeling, the taste, the all-consuming suffocating brightness of red. Then you know darker red, for a moment or two, and you hear someone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YES, KARKAT, SUFFER MORE! HAHAHA!  
> also side note this was written close to midnight on a school night and while drinking too much coffee your welcome I think im gonna go pass out now because my endocrine system is secreting enough melatonin to overpower bullshit and also my stomach feels like ive been stabbed hooray  
> pls leave feedback, I want to hear how I could improve


	6. Dave

You are Dave Strider and what the fuck happened to Karkat?

You never thought it was possible for that short, tiny troll to look any smaller, but there he is, smaller than before. Or maybe it's just how hurt and vulnerable he looks curled up in your arms that makes him seem that way. Even with his eyes closed you can see the bags and dark circles under his eyes have gotten deeper. He doesn't look too hurt, thank fuck, but he certainly doesn't look like he's ready to run a marathon (or even walk a few hundred yards) anytime soon.

Once again, you don't know what to do. How exactly does a well-adjusted person react to this kind of thing? You mean, you obviously aren't the well-adjusted type, but you're just really shocked and confused and worried...

You shake his shoulder a little bit. Maybe waking him up is a good idea. Maybe he can tell you what happened, too.

You whisper a bit to try and rouse him. "Karkat...? Karkat, hey. It's Dave. You alive?"

He slowly opens one eye a bit, squinting up at you with bleary eyes. "Dave...? Wh... why're you...?" His voice is quiet. Too quiet, especially for him. And he's not scowling at you. Why isn't he scowling at you, fuck.

"Dude we were talking like two seconds ago, don't you remember?" You're totally not panicking. This is fine. You are perfectly okay with the events unfolding at the present moment.

"I... I dunno..." his eyelids droop and you can see him slipping off into unconsciousness again and you really don't want that to happen.

"Karkat, hey, stay with me here, c'mon," you nudge his shoulder again, but it's too late and he's not awake anymore.

You look around to see if there's something you can do to help him, as if there's instructions scratched onto the wall somewhere left by a generous future-seeing carapacian from ages past, but there is absolutely nothing.

That is, save for a faint, possibly bioluminescent glow coming from around the corner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the short chapter, trying to get back into this. thanks so much for the support! please tell me how I did and how I could improve


	7. Karkat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> karkat

    You surface.  
    You’re not sure why you do, you just suddenly aren’t in that all-encompassing red (it was so suffocating) and now you’re... here.  
The space itself is actually not very interesting. It’s actually quite blank. Not in the way that immediately comes to mind, though. It’s dark here, and you can’t see if there’s any walls or a ceiling or anything. There’s a feeling of abandonment that lingers in the air, like the smell of dust after rain.  
    You think they call it petrichor.  
    There’s also a figure here. It’s tall and slender, but not in a weak way, with a graceful arc in the way it stands that hints at a sense of responsibility. It reminds you of a lusus, doing all it can to protect its adopted kin, regardless of the cost to itself. The figure seems to have been through much. You’re not sure how you already know all of this, considering the only details of the figure you can make out are that it appears to be holding... something.  
    You step toward it, naturally. What else is there to do?  
    As you see it closer, you see more details. Tall horns, one curved at the tip, the other perfectly uniform. A bow appears to be wrapped around the waist. Their hair is fashioned in a careful pixie cut that mimics their horns slightly, with the ends poking up. You still can’t tell what they’re holding.  
    It... reminds you of someone.  
    You reach out to them. They’re turned around, so you can’t see their face, but... it’s just uncanny...  
    You tap their shoulder, and they turn abruptly, gasping slightly.  
    “... Kanaya?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahahahhahah what do you mean im avoiding writing hahahhahahhahaa  
> please comment id love some feedback kisskiss


	8. Dave

She takes in the scene for a few moments.  
You don’t blame her for pausing. You certainly would. It’s a pretty weird scene. Undoubtedly she’s about to ask you what’s going on.  
“Dave, what is going on?” And there it is.  
“Uh...” You don’t really have a witty quip to respond with for once.   
You’d have much preferred your sister’s company. You’re more familiar with her, and she’s used to you bothering her with weird shit. You mentally kick yourself for not thinking of contacting her via Pesterchum or something. Then again, Kanaya knows Karkat better than either you or Rose. Maybe she can help?  
She takes your silence as an invitation to repeat herself. “What is going on?” she asks again, enunciating every syllable clearly as she always does. Her voice wavers this time, you note. She’s right to be uneasy. It’s not like you aren’t.  
“I, I don’t know,” you find yourself stuttering. “He just kinda collapsed and I’m not really sure what... I dunno I was just looking for him and...” The pinnacle of articulation, aren’t you?  
She kneels down next to him, obviously getting the hint that you’re not going to be very helpful to her, and that you’re as confused as she no doubt is. She shakes his shoulder and asks his name a few times. As if you hadn’t tried that already. This, predictably, yields no results, so she turns to you again.  
“He’s fine, right?” you ask.  
She gives you a look that is at first hopeless, then finds its way into a remarkable imitation of Rose’s “really Dave?” look. “What do you think?” she responds.  
“Do you... think you can help?”  
She looks lost in thought for a minute, then looks up at you again. “I think he just needs rest. He looks like he hasn’t slept in forever. Something similar happened during out session, and he had a reputation for being something of an insomniac.”  
That makes a lot of sense, now that you think about it. “So, what? We just wait for him to wake up, then stage an impromptu intervention-style thing?”  
“That is most likely what will happen, yes.” She doesn’t even question the use of the word “intervention.” Something tells you this has been a problem for awhile. Maybe this is just an opportunity to shine some light on it?  
Speaking of Light, you think there’s a certain sibling of yours who might be interested in the situation, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is going to be longer than i anticipated. once again, feedback is nice, criticism is nicer! im trying to improve my writing ya feel  
> but YEAH every single chapter is turning out short lol


End file.
